Naked Soul

I have always had good friends.  Like, good friends.  Friends who jump into the mess with me and help me keep my head above the water as it rises.

Yesterday my long time BFF came to visit.  I showed her around the new place and we settled into the worn couches for some girl talk.  She's a born counselor, and I feel badly at times, because it's so easy to share my heart with her... and really let go.  She shares too, and gets vulnerable and deep right along with me, but she has a way of making space for my real soul to show up and get naked.
This has been a hard year. I've been separated for almost a year now, and while some things have gotten easier, some things have gotten harder, and in many ways, some of the grief is just now settling into my weary, fleshy, mashed-up heart.  She made space for me to talk through some of my frustration, and held my eyes and heart with her grace while words poured out like blood from a gash.  She let my ugly moments sit in the sacredness of her attention, and she allowed it to rest.  I heard myself.  Do you have friends like that? When you actually hear your own heart mirrored back to you and those amazing clarity filled moments crack into your headspace like a shooting star on a crisp night? That was one of those moments.  I felt the weight of the recognition of decades of pain shoot into the center of my heart where I could see it, feel it, acknowledge it and give it the attention it needed.  I saw her eyes alight to the realization that this was happening and she talked me through it as I dug out what needed to be said.  It was powerful, grace-filled, and sacred.  I dropped barrels full of emotional baggage in that room as we sifted through shards of pain and recognition that I had never seen before. As we unpacked it together... I saw myself more clearly... she was handing me my truest self as a gift- urging me to love me, and be tender with me, and protect me.

I've had the blessing of having had several of these friends through my life.  Some are no longer active in my life, some are related to me by blood or marriage, some I rarely see but talk to often, and others have sporadic connection in the day to day circumstance. But... I have those who are willing to give grace to my heart, my work, my efforts at growing.  I have no idea where I would be without them. They sing me the anthem of my heart when I lose my way.... they champion my effort forward into healing and destiny, and they give grace in heaping doses. I pray you have someone like this in your life.. but if you don't.. that you would think about how to be vulnerable with the right person, or pray for that friend.. or begin to be that friend.  My friends are truly my on-earth saving grace... and I am rich with their love.