I have always believed there's a 'perfect' exercise and a 'perfect' way of eating for each of us. The routine and nourishment that works well with our body type.
I tried running for a handful of years because many of my friends are runners. I wanted to be the girl who got up early and hit the pavement with the wind on my face and the pounding of my feet the only sound in my ears.
But I hate running. I enjoy it for about 1/2 a mile, and then I want to lie down on the ground to catch my breath and look at the sunrise. I tried all kinds of aerobics, thinking with my dance background I'd find it enjoyable and easy, but I was the girl tripping over the step blocks and banging into the people beside me because I would be several counts behind. I never went to more than a handful of classes because I soon learned that
I hate aerobics. I convinced my incredibly fit and strong friend Thera to train me in in Cross Fit. I wanted to quit every time within 2.8 seconds of starting the workout, throw the kettle bells at her face, never utter the word burpee, and while it's revered in the Cross Fit community to throw up after working out, I didn't find that to be a particularly fun part of the process because
I hate Cross Fit. I tried Pilate's again, but quickly realized that.. nope....Nothing had changed since I'd taken it in college as part of my required curriculum. It wasn't that I didn't like my professor,
I just hate Pilate's. I joined a gym and decided I preferred the steam room to the weight room, because
I hated the gym. I wasn't sure I'd ever find exercise I truly loved.
And then I found yoga.
It was like coming home. I realized I'm not lazy in working out, I was just doing the wrong type. I amazed myself with how hard I would work, how much strength I have, and how I delighted in the effort it takes to steady my body and overactive mind.
I am a member of a local yoga studio. It's not far from my house, and I love the staff, the classes offered, and the community it pulls together. For more than a year I was in the studio faithfully. Twice a week I would go to my mat and strengthen my body while quieting my mind. It was a place where all stress, fear, worry, and schedules would dissipate and I was left with peace and stillness. However, last year brought many changes, many challenges with my children, and a much busier schedule. I wasn't able to get into class as often, and as I drove past the studio, sadness would catch in my throat. I could feel my body softening, and my mind hardening. My back was stiff and my irritation rose. I knew I needed to get back, and yet each time I made plans to go, something would get in the way. As we crossed into the new year, I was keenly aware that attention to my personal well being was and continues to be a crucial element in my ability to parent well. I was determined to carve out space for myself in order to offer a healthier mother to my children. I finally found my way back to my mat today. As I sat in the heated room and waited for the class to begin, I was able to breathe deeply and settle my mind and body. 75 minutes later I was soaked with sweat, muscles shaking, and my mind was completely stilled. The combination of physical movement, focus on breath, and attention to balance allows my mind to rest. There remains no energy left to analyze, worry, or plan for my day. I find time daily to pray, I do well with reading scripture as well as other books.....but there is no other place in my life that affords me the ability to settle every piece of me into calm contentment. I know I have to make this a priority again. I'm so very grateful to have found what works for me- the rub is in finding the time to execute it. Today was a powerful reminder that disciplining my time to create space for self-care will always be worth it.
