Girlfriend Intervention

My life can feel heavy and full of stress these days, so I've found myself often craving something to watch that is fairly mindless.  When Downton Abbey isn't current, (which, isn't mindless but is flipping amazing!) I have sought out other shows to keep me occupied and entertain me during what can feel like endless, tiring work.

I have gone through Suits, 2 Broke Girls, episodes of Hoarders, and Mike and Molly, among others.  In the last couple of weeks I've discovered a new show and I'm loving it.  It's called Girlfriend Intervention.  

I adore women. I lead several groups that focus on healing for women.  I think women are powerful, lovely, strong, creative, beautiful and passionate. I love nothing more than to see women celebrate one another and rejoice in the successes they see in their sisters.  I am humbled to be in groups where women share some of their private struggles and work through their healing in a group where they feel heard and supported and celebrated. 

Girlfriend intervention is a show that celebrates women… with a unique twist. 

Four black women (who are all different styles and sizes and personalities) go and help a 'Basic Woman' (Their terminology for a woman who is 'busted, broken, and has let herself go) and help remind her, or sometimes even teach her, about how incredibly beautiful and amazing she is. Through different exercises, some brazen truth, and lots of energy and love, they take these Basic women (who are all white women by the way) and make over her mindset, her physical body and a room or two of her home.  The energy of the four beautiful, fabulous, self assured women is infectious and while the beginning of the show finds the white girl overwhelmed, defensive and sometimes hurt, by the end of the process, that same woman, is cheering in delight at how amazing she is, and thanking the sisterhood for showing her the way to herself.  

I have watched at least 6 episodes so far, and what I'm learning is nothing deep or new or revolutionary, and yet this simple truth is life changing and powerful.  Women who give other women permission to be who they are, in their own wonderful, beautiful, powerful way, are life givers.  If we could all learn to celebrate other women, and also to celebrate ourselves, we could change the world. 

Each time these girls are made over and are looking at themselves in the mirror post-change… I start to cry.  Each woman is able to say (sometimes for the first time ever) … 'I'm beautiful'.  

The black women tell it like it is, and have shared some powerful truths in their show.  They point out that in the black culture, being fabulous and beautiful and taking time to take care of themselves is the norm.  And many white women (especially post-motherhood) are left serving everyone else and don't make time for themselves… letting the fabulous woman they may have been fade into the backdrop of sippy cups and soccer games.  They also point out that many white women aren't honest with one another, and we're quick to affirm one another when gentle truth would be better.  When a white girl asks another white girl- 'does this look ok?' Most white women will respond enthusiastically with a resounding 'Oh yes, you look great!' Even when that might not be true at all. We don't give one another the gift of truth.  And in doing so, we miss part of the richness of the relationship. 

The sisterhood also discusses how female white culture is afraid to celebrate our bodies.  We see differences and curves as liabilities and often find ways to hide those places that make us uniquely ourselves. Black women are taught to celebrate their curves, and their differences, and give one another permission to be who they are, without holding one another to a standard of a size 2 barbie doll. 

It's so encouraging and inspiring to see women learn to love who they are- without losing weight, or changing the unique things about themselves. The sisterhood comes in to enhance and celebrate and draw out the amazingness that was there all along, and in doing so, they are changing lives.  Each woman who is shown how powerful and beautiful she is takes that new information and it seeps into her family. Her interactions with other people change, she is suddenly aware that she is powerful and that her dreams and desires matter.  She has the gusto to go after the job she wants, to start exercising more, to romance her husband with confidence, to make time for herself. It's a fun show that has a powerful message… women supporting and encouraging women to love who they are created to be is one of the best gifts we can give to this world. When women are aware of how amazing they are, and how powerful they are, there is nothing that can hold them back, and we take that power into our families and communities and light a fire that can bring lasting change. 

If you have time to watch it- do it. (It's on lifetime, but I've watched on demand)  It's an odd, sometimes offbeat show with a powerful message: We are created to be amazing.  You'll cheer, you'll cry, and you'll be inspired to look at yourself and see that you are perfectly and powerfully you.  I'm learning much about how I need to take care of myself better, and that in doing so, I can take care of my family better! 

We need you to be who you are. Everyone on this earth is waiting for your dreams and hopes to come to pass.  We celebrate you, and we honor you.  Women are phenomenal.